hearts were never meant to race

so I'm definitely not an expert on anything and don't consider myself to be. I just comment on things I see and let my opinion be known.  honestly, I don't feel like anyone can be a relationship expert; they're way too complicated and vary tremendously.


I'm not a strong believer in love, especially the way people throw the word around so much now.  I mean I love everyone, but people have been acting as if they're IN love with everyone and that's just ridiculous.  Despite the many times I down talk love, though, I still want to believe that thee real stuff is out there somewhere.  It's probably just waiting on many people to just get it together lol.  Recently, I've experienced an enormous amount of situations in which females have been doing thee worst things to do when involved with someone and trying to keep them around while still trying to keep your own sanity.


When speaking of me in relationships, people tend to claim I have a "nigga mentality" and if that's what they choose to call it then so be it.  I just feel as if I have a Kisa mentality and I know what's best for me and I'm always looking out for number one.  However, it's not on any selfish type anything, but I do not think that you can be happy with anyone else if you're not happy with yourself and you cannot expect someone to express love to you if you don't have it towards yourself already.  I'm not going to base my self devotion on another...that's between me, myself, & I!


I just sit back and observe... why do [select] females think that forcing someone to be with them or to say the words "I Love You" means that the other truly feels that way? Personally, I don't want to be with anyone before we're both ready to be together. I can "talk" to someone for a long time and be satisfied with just that as I do not believe a title is a force field keeping people from doing what they want to do. I cannot even express how many people wondered why me and [him] weren't boyfriend and girlfriend... uhhhh because I'm grown! This is not high school when you meet someone, talk on the phone for a couple weeks, then are with them. Then a month later you're in love. GTFOH! Now that we're on thee level to be we are. I just always like to make sure that everyone involved is ready. Especially because I take betrayal very seriously. 
I've only said I love you to one guy in my dating lifetime [in high sschool *insert eye roll here* lol] and that was because he said it first. Isn't that the most awkward situation? What do you even say to something like that? especially when the other person is waiting for a response. C'mon now! and I'm sick of people I know getting hurt over it because they rushed a dude into saying it or being with them then wonder why he's out doing him. I need time to do me. I gotta get thee "single-ness" out of my system before I settle down, and I would prefer the male do the same. So the process cannot be rushed.


Why do [select] females think that just because you have a baby by him he's going to magically change over night?  You're so upset over things you knew he was doing before.  A baby is not going to automatically change that and make the guy want to be with just you forever now.  Nope; now he's just going to do what he was doing and either love or leave his child.  Your relationship with him is not always affected.  I just wish these women knew their worth and realized that having a child to keep a man is just going about things all the wrong way.


WHY do people air all of their business over facebook and twitter?  Some things are not meant for everyone to know.  and the ones that do this are always the main ones speaking on how "ni99az aint shyt" and telling how much of a dog this man is, but the next day "I love [so&so]"... then wanna get upset with me cuz I don't fux with their significant other anymore. *insert confused face* I mean I could have sworn that was dude that just hit you?  Oh so that's not the one you told me got another girl preggers at the same time as you?  Excuse me for not being so quick to forgive.  BUT if you didn't let the entire world know everything at every moment, maybe you would save this from even happening and won't have to be upset with me [the one looking out for you since you're not].


& please please please CUT OUT THEE CRAZINESS!  waiting around for him to come home, searching around for him, calling nonstop... honestly, when I don't want to be found, I won't be found, and I'm sure it is the same way for that man.  Go out with your friends! Do you. Please yourself if he's not.


We're all far from perfect; we all have strengths and weaknesses; we all struggle.  I just want so much more for my friends and those i associate with.  Mostly because I always want more for myself, and I refuse to let anyone steal any pieces of me or my peace of mind.  I wish you all could see yourself thee way I see you... then maybe you would realize you deserve more than you're allowing yourself to have.  Stop trying to rush everything.  Rushed projects never turn out better than the ones you take your time on, perfect, and mold into something just right.  Something you can hold onto for a long period of time, cherish, and expect to last.