tha sun itself sees not till Heaven clears...

inside of meeh

cud yooh buy meeh a day n yur lyfe? when iim wearin tha clothes thaa yooh wear. & cud yooh give meeh yur dymez fa a day? & juss fa one day take mah place. see ma mère says thaa ii am beautiful. & ii am luvly tha way thaa ii am. but if ii am so sweet y wont lyfe juss give meeh whaa yooh have? whaa yooh have. whaa yooh have! or cud ii get away bein yooh fa a day? oh ii wonder if ii can. put meeh n a box fa a lil while. 2morrow take meeh out again. or am ii already as luvly as yooh? r yooh n mah window pane? lookin bacc @ meeh sayin "here ii am. gyrl yur beautiful!!"

tha neuron

"sumtymez blyndness fynds meeh. & leads meeh thru ignorance. not allowin us to gain experience. so we become lyfeless. @ otha tymez ii couple with self pity. & walk aimlessly thru reality. so occasionally ii choose to travel alone. but neva fulfill mah possiblilities. so mostly ii attempt to achieve balance. by seeking right knowledge & loving & reviewing. & eventually overstanding those many lessons of mah lyfe..." [floetry]

the human body is particularly fascinating to meeh. the way erythyng flows. its specificity. its continuity. its truly a refined masterpiece. but the human brain... WOWZERS!! thaa is sumthin worth studying. sumthin worth understanding. but can we ever truly undastand these thyngs?!?

it tikkled meeh thaa 2day sum1 attempted to compare the human brain to a computer. ii haha @ thaa bcuz the human brain is so much more complex. it excedes the farthest lengths of the greatest computer ever made. while also lakking the selectivity which the computer is lucky to possess... pple are typically amused @ mah response to when iim asked which super power ii wud lyke to have. ii say the ability to forget. thynk about it. do we have a delete button for our mynds thaa sends unwanted files to a recycle bin where it is stored useless but able to restore or completely discard of @ one's leisure?!? nope. we're stucc with thyngs even those memories we do not wish to keep. & tha harder we try to 4get tha more we rememba. ii stop sumtymez......... & juss thynk how much more happier mah day wud go if ii didnt get these random memories or didnt have to worry about tha smallest thyng remyndin meeh of a... hmmz... [unpleasant] tyme of mah lyfe. as if the baggage is weighing meeh down.


but ii mean they say "yooh live & yooh learn" right?!? ii guezz... thaas juss a optimist way of lookin @ it. learn frum your mistakes. blah blah blah. but whaa if mah mistakes r whaas keepin meeh frum progressing? whaa if ii cant let go of tymez when hard work didnt count for anythyng? whaa if ii cant let go of the pain caused by loss of love? & whaa if thee ultimate betrayal frum those to whom ii owe mah lyfe... or actually juss mah birth... has caused meeh to refrain frum allowing any type of relationships? maybe tha lessons learned frum mah lyfe aren't the "happily ever after" ones longed for...



but then whaa do yooh do? :-/





wellz iima keep lookin fa a pointer & delete button...

midnight lament

ii move thru lyfe attempting to conquer tha world
bit by bit... piece by piece.
alone iim a movement.
yet it neva seems enuf.
ii fynd mah self searchin fa more...
searchin fa pple to assist & accompany meeh...
however ii am left with no1.
stabs to tha bacc r infinite.
trust is lost.
loyalty... foreign.
juss call meeh Caesar
ii struggle as iim left to perish
crying out
"et tu?!?"