takin a break[!]

ii always say that iim going to take a break. but this time ii really have to. ii haven't spoken to any of my friends or "friends" since Saturday night. . . wellz except Sunday ii did go over to Nneks' house for her birthday kiccbacc. cuz ii just can't be an azz & not go to that. & ii had to give her her gift. she's a great friend!

anywho. . . ii just gotta have time for myself. thee whole incident [[see blog entry b4 last]] just has made meeh skeptical of a lot of thyngs. that includes pple too. so iim just distancing myself for now. don't need anymore outside forces bothering meeh or serving as a distraction or causing meeh to question anything. ii can only fukk wit family & [him] for right now. cuz those are thee only relationships that aren't putting any stress on meeh. ii rilly appreciate having them in my lyfe. & ii thynk this tyme should just be used to focus on strengthening those relationships and focusing on skool & just doing for me for once. ii try to do for others way too much. & iive always felt lyke that wud give meeh good karma & would be for thee good. however, ii swear ii have thee worst luck ever & random stupid shyt just continually happens. so iive decided that for a while iim gonna be selfish. worry bout meeh. & deal with those who truly worry about meeh too. anythyng else is too damaging for me right now. & ii refuse to go thru any of thee depression help shyt. no meds. no doctors. they all added to the damages. iim focused on certain thyngs right now. & that's just gonna have to remain until ii have found my mind/soul/heart again. . .

chercher mon âme...
_kii_