lament :-/

yestaday, ii cried.

ii came home, went straight to mah room, sat on tha edge of mah bed, kicced off mah shoes, unhooked mah bra, & ii had mah self a good cry.

iim tellin yooh,
ii cried until mah nose was runnin all ova tha shyrt ii got @ fashion trend.
ii cried until mah ears were hot.
ii cried until mah head was hurtin so bad... thaa ii cud hardly see tha pile of soiled tissues lyin on tha floor @ mah feet.

ii want yooh to undastand,
ii had mah self a rilly good cry yestaday.

yestaday, ii cried,
for all tha dayz thaa ii was too busy, or too tired, or too mad to cry.
ii cried for all tha dayz, and all tha wayz,
and all tha tymez iii had dishonored, disrespected, and disconnected mah Self frum mahself,
only to have it reflected bacc to meeh n tha wayz othas did to me
tha same thyngs ii had already done to mah self.

ii cried for all tha thyngs ii had given, only to have them stolen;
for all tha thyngs ii had asked for thaa had yet to show up;
for all tha thyngs ii had accomplished, only to give them away, to pple n circumstances, which left meeh feeling empty, and battered and plain old used.

ii cried bcuz there rilly does come a tyme when tha only thyng left fa yooh to do is cry.

yestaday ii cried.
ii cried bcuz lil boyz get left by their daddies;
and lil gyrlz get forgotten by their mommies;
and daddies dont kno whaa to do, so they leave;
and mommies get left, so they get mad.

ii cried bcuz mah brotha was a lil boi, and bcuz ii was a lil gyrl, and mah mère was a mommy who didnt kno whaa to do, and bcuz ii wanted mah daddy to be there so badly until ii ached.

yestaday ii cried.

ii cried bcuz ii was hurt... ii cried bcuz ii was hurt.

ii cried bcuz hurt has no place to go
except deeper into tha pain thaa caused it in tha 1st place, and when it gets there, tha hurt wakes yooh up.

ii cried bcuz it was too late... ii cried bcuz it was tyme.

ii cried bcuz mah soul knew thaa ii didnt kno
thaa mah soul knew erythyng ii needed to kno.

ii cried a s0ulful cry yestaday, and it felt so good.

it felt so very, very bad.

in tha midst of mah crying, ii felt freedom coming,
bcuz

yestaday ii cried...
with an agenda.



[iyanla vanzant originally... tweeked by meeh]