HaHaHa... thee truth

lmao this type of stuff is y ii absolute love erykah badu!! juss real all tha tyme... here's a lil advice to sum of yooh gyrlz out there tryna make it :-P

lament :-/

yestaday, ii cried.

ii came home, went straight to mah room, sat on tha edge of mah bed, kicced off mah shoes, unhooked mah bra, & ii had mah self a good cry.

iim tellin yooh,
ii cried until mah nose was runnin all ova tha shyrt ii got @ fashion trend.
ii cried until mah ears were hot.
ii cried until mah head was hurtin so bad... thaa ii cud hardly see tha pile of soiled tissues lyin on tha floor @ mah feet.

ii want yooh to undastand,
ii had mah self a rilly good cry yestaday.

yestaday, ii cried,
for all tha dayz thaa ii was too busy, or too tired, or too mad to cry.
ii cried for all tha dayz, and all tha wayz,
and all tha tymez iii had dishonored, disrespected, and disconnected mah Self frum mahself,
only to have it reflected bacc to meeh n tha wayz othas did to me
tha same thyngs ii had already done to mah self.

ii cried for all tha thyngs ii had given, only to have them stolen;
for all tha thyngs ii had asked for thaa had yet to show up;
for all tha thyngs ii had accomplished, only to give them away, to pple n circumstances, which left meeh feeling empty, and battered and plain old used.

ii cried bcuz there rilly does come a tyme when tha only thyng left fa yooh to do is cry.

yestaday ii cried.
ii cried bcuz lil boyz get left by their daddies;
and lil gyrlz get forgotten by their mommies;
and daddies dont kno whaa to do, so they leave;
and mommies get left, so they get mad.

ii cried bcuz mah brotha was a lil boi, and bcuz ii was a lil gyrl, and mah mère was a mommy who didnt kno whaa to do, and bcuz ii wanted mah daddy to be there so badly until ii ached.

yestaday ii cried.

ii cried bcuz ii was hurt... ii cried bcuz ii was hurt.

ii cried bcuz hurt has no place to go
except deeper into tha pain thaa caused it in tha 1st place, and when it gets there, tha hurt wakes yooh up.

ii cried bcuz it was too late... ii cried bcuz it was tyme.

ii cried bcuz mah soul knew thaa ii didnt kno
thaa mah soul knew erythyng ii needed to kno.

ii cried a s0ulful cry yestaday, and it felt so good.

it felt so very, very bad.

in tha midst of mah crying, ii felt freedom coming,
bcuz

yestaday ii cried...
with an agenda.



[iyanla vanzant originally... tweeked by meeh]

tha sun itself sees not till Heaven clears...

inside of meeh

cud yooh buy meeh a day n yur lyfe? when iim wearin tha clothes thaa yooh wear. & cud yooh give meeh yur dymez fa a day? & juss fa one day take mah place. see ma mère says thaa ii am beautiful. & ii am luvly tha way thaa ii am. but if ii am so sweet y wont lyfe juss give meeh whaa yooh have? whaa yooh have. whaa yooh have! or cud ii get away bein yooh fa a day? oh ii wonder if ii can. put meeh n a box fa a lil while. 2morrow take meeh out again. or am ii already as luvly as yooh? r yooh n mah window pane? lookin bacc @ meeh sayin "here ii am. gyrl yur beautiful!!"

tha neuron

"sumtymez blyndness fynds meeh. & leads meeh thru ignorance. not allowin us to gain experience. so we become lyfeless. @ otha tymez ii couple with self pity. & walk aimlessly thru reality. so occasionally ii choose to travel alone. but neva fulfill mah possiblilities. so mostly ii attempt to achieve balance. by seeking right knowledge & loving & reviewing. & eventually overstanding those many lessons of mah lyfe..." [floetry]

the human body is particularly fascinating to meeh. the way erythyng flows. its specificity. its continuity. its truly a refined masterpiece. but the human brain... WOWZERS!! thaa is sumthin worth studying. sumthin worth understanding. but can we ever truly undastand these thyngs?!?

it tikkled meeh thaa 2day sum1 attempted to compare the human brain to a computer. ii haha @ thaa bcuz the human brain is so much more complex. it excedes the farthest lengths of the greatest computer ever made. while also lakking the selectivity which the computer is lucky to possess... pple are typically amused @ mah response to when iim asked which super power ii wud lyke to have. ii say the ability to forget. thynk about it. do we have a delete button for our mynds thaa sends unwanted files to a recycle bin where it is stored useless but able to restore or completely discard of @ one's leisure?!? nope. we're stucc with thyngs even those memories we do not wish to keep. & tha harder we try to 4get tha more we rememba. ii stop sumtymez......... & juss thynk how much more happier mah day wud go if ii didnt get these random memories or didnt have to worry about tha smallest thyng remyndin meeh of a... hmmz... [unpleasant] tyme of mah lyfe. as if the baggage is weighing meeh down.


but ii mean they say "yooh live & yooh learn" right?!? ii guezz... thaas juss a optimist way of lookin @ it. learn frum your mistakes. blah blah blah. but whaa if mah mistakes r whaas keepin meeh frum progressing? whaa if ii cant let go of tymez when hard work didnt count for anythyng? whaa if ii cant let go of the pain caused by loss of love? & whaa if thee ultimate betrayal frum those to whom ii owe mah lyfe... or actually juss mah birth... has caused meeh to refrain frum allowing any type of relationships? maybe tha lessons learned frum mah lyfe aren't the "happily ever after" ones longed for...



but then whaa do yooh do? :-/





wellz iima keep lookin fa a pointer & delete button...

midnight lament

ii move thru lyfe attempting to conquer tha world
bit by bit... piece by piece.
alone iim a movement.
yet it neva seems enuf.
ii fynd mah self searchin fa more...
searchin fa pple to assist & accompany meeh...
however ii am left with no1.
stabs to tha bacc r infinite.
trust is lost.
loyalty... foreign.
juss call meeh Caesar
ii struggle as iim left to perish
crying out
"et tu?!?"

amour

ii thynk of tha day ii fell n love with sound

& ii reminisce.

music & ii.

we had this harmonic connection.

we share a melody.

its lyke its callin out to meeh...

only sum of us can hear.

only sum of us r listenin.