ii cherish memories

ii take pictures.

ii luv to take pictures.

ii lyke to remember things.

document those moments.

those days when everything is great.

thee times worth remembering.

those few moments in which ii smile lyke never before...

ii take pictures...

bcuz not everday is a day lyke today.

not everyday will be this hard.

some days pple care.

some days there are no tears...

so ii take pictures...

to remynd myself that these days just can't be constant

beaucoup d'amour...
_kii_

ii remember amazing?

ii remember amazing. . .

ii remember when lyfe was lyke a dream

& everyday wud bring sweet memories.

ii remember when morning came

& birds wud chirp. thee sun wud shine

all a welcome to thee new day.

ii remember when frustration was nonexistent

& optimism was parallel to lyfe.

ii remember when night fell

& thee attempts to avoid slumber

with an angst to never miss out on anything.

& thee urgency for slumber

with thee thoughts of what thee next day wud bring.

ii remember amazing.

ii remember a tyme when worries were far & n between

a tyme when no one could remove thee light

thee light the day brought

thee light within

thee light the future held

ii remember amazing.

yet it is now only a memory. . .

lyfe has become barren.

mornings have lost their appeal;

they are now approached with dread.

thee day is dull:

no excitement. no pleasure. no affluence.

the nite cold;

rather than longing to stay awake,

the desire for relief prevails, yet remains unfulfilled

as painful thoughts intensify the mind's activity

allowing no room for relaxation.

yes, ii remember amazing

however, now those memories are just that:

a memory. only to retain. but never again to revive.

ii remember amazing, yet anguish has now become its debris[.]

chercher mon âme ...
_kii_

tha neuron

"sumtymez blyndness fynds meeh. & leads meeh thru ignorance. not allowin us to gain experience. so we become lyfeless. @ otha tymez ii couple with self pity. & walk aimlessly thru reality. so occasionally ii choose to travel alone. but neva fulfill mah possiblilities. so mostly ii attempt to achieve balance. by seeking right knowledge & loving & reviewing. & eventually overstanding those many lessons of mah lyfe..." [floetry]

the human body is particularly fascinating to meeh. the way erythyng flows. its specificity. its continuity. its truly a refined masterpiece. but the human brain... WOWZERS!! thaa is sumthin worth studying. sumthin worth understanding. but can we ever truly undastand these thyngs?!?

it tikkled meeh thaa 2day sum1 attempted to compare the human brain to a computer. ii haha @ thaa bcuz the human brain is so much more complex. it excedes the farthest lengths of the greatest computer ever made. while also lakking the selectivity which the computer is lucky to possess... pple are typically amused @ mah response to when iim asked which super power ii wud lyke to have. ii say the ability to forget. thynk about it. do we have a delete button for our mynds thaa sends unwanted files to a recycle bin where it is stored useless but able to restore or completely discard of @ one's leisure?!? nope. we're stucc with thyngs even those memories we do not wish to keep. & tha harder we try to 4get tha more we rememba. ii stop sumtymez......... & juss thynk how much more happier mah day wud go if ii didnt get these random memories or didnt have to worry about tha smallest thyng remyndin meeh of a... hmmz... [unpleasant] tyme of mah lyfe. as if the baggage is weighing meeh down.


but ii mean they say "yooh live & yooh learn" right?!? ii guezz... thaas juss a optimist way of lookin @ it. learn frum your mistakes. blah blah blah. but whaa if mah mistakes r whaas keepin meeh frum progressing? whaa if ii cant let go of tymez when hard work didnt count for anythyng? whaa if ii cant let go of the pain caused by loss of love? & whaa if thee ultimate betrayal frum those to whom ii owe mah lyfe... or actually juss mah birth... has caused meeh to refrain frum allowing any type of relationships? maybe tha lessons learned frum mah lyfe aren't the "happily ever after" ones longed for...



but then whaa do yooh do? :-/





wellz iima keep lookin fa a pointer & delete button...

midnight lament

ii move thru lyfe attempting to conquer tha world
bit by bit... piece by piece.
alone iim a movement.
yet it neva seems enuf.
ii fynd mah self searchin fa more...
searchin fa pple to assist & accompany meeh...
however ii am left with no1.
stabs to tha bacc r infinite.
trust is lost.
loyalty... foreign.
juss call meeh Caesar
ii struggle as iim left to perish
crying out
"et tu?!?"

amour

ii thynk of tha day ii fell n love with sound

& ii reminisce.

music & ii.

we had this harmonic connection.

we share a melody.

its lyke its callin out to meeh...

only sum of us can hear.

only sum of us r listenin.